


Braveheart, Come Back to Me

by welpplew



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: M/M, Was supposed to be fluff, i literally just wanted to write poefinn idc about canon, slow burn maybe, turned into this, wrote this in a flurry of poefinn/finnpoe/stormpilot feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2020-01-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:00:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22163704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/welpplew/pseuds/welpplew
Summary: —the ache grows stronger.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Finn
Comments: 2
Kudos: 86





	Braveheart, Come Back to Me

**Author's Note:**

> doc title: poefinn bc jj is a coward

On the Finalizer, relationships and connections were based on hierarchy and control and only in death were stormtroopers and commanders equal. And while Finn doesn’t know much or anything, really, from his life before the Finalizer and Phasma and the clunky white suit which bore his name, number—having only memories of cruel and repetitive utilitarian training sessions, the likes of which broke him and his fellow would-be-stormtroopers into puppets of the First Order to reminisce on—there is still a part of him which sympathizes with the stormtroopers and the pilots shot down daily by the Resistance. 

If someone were to ask Finn where his alliances stood, he would unequivocally say that his skills are to the Resistance, to the side of light and good and all things right in this vast universe which currently feels too small under the pressure of the First Order. However, if Finn were to ask himself where his alliances rested, where his blaster pointed and for what cause he would give his last breath to, well, if anyone happened to be reading his thoughts during these moments of quiet contemplation, he would only hope to be forgiven for his indecision.

Sometimes Finn feels confident in his answer, feels as if his self-contemplation has finally moored his conviction to the cause of the Resistance, but these moments only come when Poe or Rey are the topic of discussion or more acutely, when both of them are with him. He’s found that it’s easier to conjure up an answer when he has a reason, two reasons, to continue this fight, rather than some intangible creed, some unbelievable future. 

He fights for Rey because Rey—as fierce and wild as a vulptex, is someone who fights so earnestly for what she believes in, who knows as much about her past as he knows about his own, and who, despite feeling just as, if not more, lost and confused about her person, continues to push forward with the belief that the light will prevail against the dark—was his first friend. 

And Poe keeps him here because with a smile like that, how could Finn not fall for the confident disillusion of standing with the “good” side of a galactic war—FN-2187 thought he was fighting for the “good” side too, but Phasma’s smile wasn’t nearly as charming. 

Though, in honest, Poe holds a different weight in his decision to fight for the Resistance. 

An objective observation of Poe and his role in his life would include that if not for the pilot, Finn would not have escaped the Finalizer and would have been questioned, punished, and reconditioned into a mindless soldier. So, objectively, Poe saved his life. But saying that the reason he stays with the Resistance is to pay a debt leaves a bad taste in his mouth and really isn’t the truth, even if saying so would be an easy answer to supply to anyone questioning. 

Subjectively, however, Finn likes to think Poe gave him life. At least, gave him back his life. 

Trusting Finn to get them both to the TIE fighter, blasting their way through First Order fire, giving him this name which he proudly bears, welcoming him into the Resistance with open arms, and even going as far as to give Finn his jacket, it’s the most anyone has ever done for him and begs the question of how could Finn not fight for the side which this man, steadfast and courageous, risks his life for? 

Indecision still clings to him, though, and with Rey currently planets away training and fighting and discovering truths and evils the likes of which he can only imagine, his resolve starts to wane. 

Unexpectedly, Poe continuously finds a way to prolong Finn’s residency at the Resistance camp despite the nagging worry in his chest and the flighty need to join Rey, to see her safe and alive with his own eyes. 

After the attack on D’Qar and his fight with Kylo Ren, Finn’s induction into the Resistance was shaky. While he had already met with General Organa and expressed his willingness to fight for their cause, though, mainly to keep Rey safe, after waking from his coma, there wasn’t much he could do as he was in and out of the med room for checkups and physio and all sorts of small tune-ups which made him feel like an out of commission droid. 

Luckily for Finn, Poe was basically attached to his hip, and when the pilot was in a meeting or a debriefing or anything that may require him to be on the base but separated from Finn for a lengthy period of time, BB-8 was attached to the other. So, while regaining his footing in this new organization and re-establishing himself with the other members of the Resistance took a bit of bravery, both Poe and BB-8 were there to help keep him sure-footed. 

Obviously, when Poe and the little droid had to go on scouting or recon missions or even standard flight practice, Finn was left alone, but not without the pilot apologizing and telling him that he would come back. Finn never doubted that the other man wouldn’t succeed in his mission, wouldn’t come back with his little round friend and find Finn doing whatever and unintentionally re-anchor him to the Resistance base. 

And though he never doubted his friend’s skill, these moments had to be Finn’s favorite, the moments when he would feel an arm gently drape around his shoulder while he was in the middle of puttering around the base doing this and that, or the moments when he would run into the pilot in the hallways of the base, both of them were often a little frenzied. Poe, just getting back from a mission, would be determined to see Finn after reporting to the General, and Finn, after seeing the x-wings circle the base and land, would forget his duties and run off to find the pilot. These hallway run-ins were a nice surprise, a reassurance that even during these chaotic moments, the two of them would find each other again, that the search for the other was mutual. 

His favorite reunions, however, were probably those times when he was near the landing zone. Usually having been given maintenance duty on some of the droids which didn’t go up with a pilot, sometimes, if Finn were lucky, the x-wings would land while he was there and from his spot near the hanger, he would witness the awe-inspiring sight of a dozen x-wings touch down, and when he saw the distinguished black x-wing make its descent, he would only have to wait a moment before he would see Poe climbing out of his fighter. On sight, Finn would run towards the pilot knowing that once the other man spotted him, he would run in earnest until they crashed into each other, arms looping around necks and waists and Poe would bury his head in Finn’s neck, sometimes for just a moment, but Finn would take these chances to push his face into the pilot’s head of curls and let unabashed joy wash over him. 

Back on the Finalizer, if you returned from a mission you did so without pomp and circumstance and reported directly to your senior officer, and if you were unfortunate enough to have fallen while out on duty then no one batted an eye. But here on the base, when anyone returned, regardless of the mission, they were welcomed with cheers and smiles and bright, precious notions of relief, and when people did fall, which was more often than desired, there were tears—more tears than Finn had ever seen. 

So maybe these small, precious reunions with the pilot kept Finn with the Resistance a little longer than he had originally planned. But even so, if maybe one day, if one unfortunate, heart-rendering day comes where Poe doesn’t return, then what power would keep Finn from fleeing? 

Sometimes Finn sleeps over in Poe’s quarters. 

As flight leader, his room is ample enough for two bodies and though there’s only one bed, Poe has been explicit that he’s more than happy to share his space. So sometimes, when they both stay up later than expected, talking over strategies and flight patterns and Poe’s home planet of Yavin-4 and his parents, who Finn discovered were skilled and famous alliance members, Poe would throw a toothbrush and some sleep clothes at Finn as a way of telling him to stay the night. When they were both ready, Poe would climb into bed and scoot to the side closest to the wall, leaving room for Finn to slide in under the covers. 

The first night they did this, Finn’s movements were a little stiffer than usual and his breathing was shallow. He was also a little chattier than one should be for the time of night. But if Poe realized his odd behavior or was annoyed with Finn and his stammering, he didn’t show it.

When morning came, Finn felt a weight draped over his waist and soft puffs of someone breathing in the crook of his neck, and while these sensations weren’t foreign, the context was a little different. 

It felt good though. To not wake up alone. 

These sleepovers continued to happen when they could and soon falling into bed with Poe became second nature to Finn, he no longer feared the stilted silence of sleeping next to someone for the first time. Sometimes BB-8 would join, not in bed, but on her own charging dock placed close enough to the bed for Finn to reach over and pet her dome top as a “goodnight.” 

Those nights, Finn slowly discovered the existence of a terribly lovely ache which left you feeling vulnerable with every brush of a hand, every exhale, every word said and unsaid. 

When Poe, exhausted from whatever grueling mission he had arrived back from earlier that day, stumbled into bed and tucked himself into a ball the likes of which could rival BB-8, Finn would succumb to the ache in his chest and slowly sink into bed and wrap himself around the pilot; would let the other man latch onto him any way he needed, would let him breathe and cry and regain what he might have lost, might have forgotten while in the deep recesses of space. 

When Poe, the sweet smell of alcohol on his breath and the bravado of a successful mission coursing through his blood, tells Finn of the greatness the Resistance will achieve, how this is just the beginning, how planets near and far will again know peace, how they will be the ones to bring this brighter future, voice filling every corner of his room, Finn gives into the ache, leans closer to the pilot, almost topples the table between them, leans so close that Poe’s hair brushes against his forehead, so close that if he were a little braver, a little drunker, a little less self-preserving, he would have rushed in and wholeheartedly kissed this man which makes his heart feel too big for his chest. 

He doesn’t—

He lets their foreheads touch and then he’s back on his side, pouring Poe another glass, toasting to the Resistance, downing his

—the ache grows stronger. 

It takes a close call, a mission that had one too many variables to be viable but had to be overseen in order to prevent tide turning information from falling into the wrong hands, to shake Finn to his very core and answer the terrifying “what if?.”

Poe is gone for what feels like an eternity. A month turns into two, turns into too long. 

He spends weeks to himself, his assurance failing, doubt seeping into his very bones as he paces the base, the flight bank, his room, Poe’s room—thinks over his life and the events which have transpired to have led him to a state of such disarray.

Finn concludes that goodbyes are, and have always been, an inescapable aspect of his life. 

He was separated from his parents at an age so young he can’t even remember his father’s face or his mother’s voice or anything about these people who gave him life. He separated from the Finalizer and his fellow stormtroopers after a moment of daunting revelation; they weren't family, but he was, once, one of them. He had to leave Han and then, in his comatose state, was separated from Rey. 

And now he’s bound to be separated from Poe, another goodbye constructed by fate, another goodbye he wasn’t able to prevent. 

His life has been plagued with departure—except, Poe comes back—maybe this time Finn won’t have to say “goodbye.” 

When Finn sees Poe hobble out of his battered x-wing he runs to him. 

And when Poe buries his head into Finn’s neck, feels the other man breath in his arms, his lungs exhale in great relief; he gives in to the ache. Feels tender-hearted once more, and as he cradles the pilot in his arms, he understands why he’s fighting. Understands why his life has led him here, to the Resistance and to the base and into the life of a man with a dream for the future and for them and for all the planets in the galaxy; he fights for Poe and his dream, and Rey and her truth, and the galaxy and peace and for those who fight and those who can’t and for a future where goodbyes and departures are one in a million. 

He fights for the moment when he can tell Poe all that he feels—"hey, I love you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for giving this a read, I had a lot of fun writing this fic and I hope you enjoyed reading it.
> 
> As always, comments, kudos, and constructive criticism are greatly appreciated!
> 
> Also, here's my [Twitter](https://twitter.com/welpplew) if you want to cry over poefinn or smth


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